Until I get my new sewing machine, I have been reading everything in sight on the Internet about sewing. I also have learned a lot from the old sewing machine I had. Here are some, um, funny (?) things I have learned about sewing just in the 2 years that I have been doing it.
Murphy's Law of Sewing
- Fusible interfacing ALWAYS fuses itself to the iron, particularly when you least expect it.
- There are NEVER enough of the same/identical buttons that you need for a project.
- You can generally count on seam ripping the wrong seam...especially if you are being distracted by young children making "Stupid Doo" tents in your sewing room (or wherever you sew).
- Like socks in the dryer, the pattern you want to use has a missing piece (and if you have young children, you can count on one of them making the missing pattern piece into a paper airplane....perhaps days/weeks before!).
- Only pins and needles fall on the floor.
- Only barefoot people step on the MIA pins and needles.
- Rogue gnomes and angry leprechauns eat your sewing pins in the middle of the night and you can never find sewing pins....no matter how organized you are.
- Count on the material you are working on that you forgot to preshrunk first to shrink the most.
- Why is it that when all is going so very well that the bobbin suddenly runs of thread or worse, the bobbin makes a thread nest?!
- Pinking shears have a contract with aforementioned leprechauns and gnomes and dull just by looking at them.
- The magnitude of the mistakes made on the project are directly related to the expense of the project/fabric.
- Even perfectly cut fabric pieces with flawlessly trimmed seams will be asymmetrical (think lopsided collars and sleeves).
- The iron has a contract with the aforementioned leprechauns and gnomes too. It only scorches your project when it's complete and you're making the final press.
- The same evil iron NEVER burps gross water on fabric until you are ironing light colored silk, chiffon, etc.
- Something small like the light on your sewing machine always implodes on Sunday.
- Count on the gathering thread to break in the middle.
- You suspect that a naughty family member has "borrowed" your sewing scissors when you begin to cut your fabric. Unusual criminal trace evidence like Elmer's Glue smears, dog hair, paint, and gel from shoe insoles lightly fleck the blades.
It looks like "Stupid Doo" toys have lost their retention for entertaining 4 year olds....so I must dash off into distance to figure out why smoke is coming from the dryer......